The sleepless nights and zombie exhaustion. Figuring out breastfeeding (it isn't easy for all of us!!). Not understanding why on earth that baby is still hungry when they ate 25 minutes ago.
And let's face it, there's another 1,252,788 things that parents struggle with.
But when it's your child that struggles... it isn't you that can't figure it out, but your child, well, that's kind of a different story. We can't go to bed early and they wake more rested. We can't stay up reading novels and suddenly they know how to read. We can't go to the doctor and eat our veggies and have their sickness healed.
We help, we love, we teach, which let's face it, is work. But we can't do it without them, without their work, without their brainpower and effort.
My baby boy struggles in school. It's hard. It's tear worthy. And the boy is smart! I know he is. His last year before kindergarten we spent half our day home together playing board games. And I could hardly believe what a whip the boy is. So, why is spelling and reading and writing and math so darn hard now? I don't know. I don't have that answer. I wish I knew. I wish some magical motherly this-is-the-answer light would turn on inside my brain!
Where is my magical mother light?
The other night I was checking over the homework he'd done for the week, only to find out that he'd done it all wrong. He had to do all of it over.
He wasn't happy.
I wasn't thrilled.
Still, I tried to smile. I gave my best attempt at a it's-not-a big-deal grin and then we reread the instructions--and I explained those instructions. And after a few tears, he got to work. He did it. And he did it well.
I didn't do it for him.
I couldn't.
I helped. I loved. I taught.
And I pray and hope everyday that will be enough, because, people, that's all I've got! I don't know what else to do!
And school is just one thing. What do we do when they struggle with friends or bullies or an illness? What about all the crazy awful temptations in the world? What about those???
Stop. Me, not you. I can't help my kids if I'm in the mental home.
My own personal--> Recap-
We can't live for them.
We can teach them.
We can love them.
We can pray for them.
So, we love and teach and pray. And then what?
My magical mother light is saying have faith, have hope.
That's all I know.
I'm out.
I'm going to go practice spelling "CHRONOLOGY", because like my 4th grader, I'm not sure how.
Oh man, Jen. I get ya. Big time. It was after 4th Grade that instead of doing our regular summer reading tutoring, I found a teacher who said "I teach dyslexic kids, but even if your child isn't dyslexic, sometimes looking at it in a different way can help." I figured I had been doing the same thing for 5 years and it wasn't working so why not try something new? The first day I took Jack to tutoring and she had me fill out a paper. Does your child have a hard time tying their shoes? Yes. Does your child struggle with rhyming words? Yes. Does your child mix up the math symbols like + - /? Yes. Last summer Jack was diagnosed with dyslexia. His reading scores are finally at grade level which had NEVER happened before. In 1st and 2nd grade he would bring home spelling tests with NONE right. It was heartbreaking. It's still hard, he is afraid someone will find out he listened to an audio book instead of reading the actual book for his report. And he is sensitive and struggles with coping skills when things don't go the way he expected. I'm certainly not saying that Seth is dyslexic, or that tutoring is the answer. I'm only saying that I am in this boat with you. And even if it feels like we are drifting into the middle of Bear Lake without a paddle, I assure you that we'll get through it. I hope. Either way, I love ya!
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