Just do it

"Serve. It will make you feel better."
Six years ago someone told me this. She said it out of love. She said it to truly help me. She understood pain.

I didn't think she did though.
I didn't think she could, she still had her mother.
I couldn't find enough in me to fix my hair or make dinner... and she wanted me to... serve?

She was:
Older, wiser, more experienced... and right.

I didn't do it then.
And I suffered for a very long time.
Service wouldn't have taken my loss away. It wouldn't have erased my pain. Not possible.
But! It helps. It brings purpose and love into your heart and it helps.

I try to serve throughout the year.
But I have to serve today.
For myself. For my loss. For my mom.

Merry Christmas!