My husband is on his 14th year of teaching.
The first year he taught, he had part of the summer off, the second part of the summer he taught summer school.
It may sound strange to some, but it was a trial for him to be home that summer. He went from college classes with a part time job to student teaching to teaching. He was always busy. Always graded or paid. So, the "fun" of time off, wore off pretty quick. We were too poor to do anything too fun and so we were home.
One day, understandably he said to me- I just don't have a place. I don't know what to do.
I had a list of a million things to do and so I handed it over to him.
He wasn't exactly impressed. And it wasn't very compassionate of me. This was a legit struggle for him.
When I handed him the list, he made a comment about how I'm always home, this is my place.
I remember feeling frustrated and saying: Do you think I am excited to do the laundry?
Do you think dishes and vacuuming are my passion?
Because, nope they aren't.
My husband is kind of wonderful--and pretty amazing and over the last 14 years, he has found his place during the summer. It is at home, he helps me and we play with our kids and we can both say we LOVE summer. We LOVE home.
My point of that long drawn out story is, even though I was being a tad grouchy when I told my hubby that I wasn't passionate about housework--it's true. I'm not.
{If you're going to come see me, give me an hours notice.}
Some days my house is clean. And some days I have played with Little Miss and edited the day away. (And I love those days!!)
Still, as much as I loooove being a stay at home mom, sometimes when the responsibility of staying home fills my day, it feels really lonely.
Thus the surrounded by toys and laundry picture.
Me, today.
It doesn't mean I want a new job.
It doesn't mean I hate it.
It means as grateful as I am that I have the amazing opportunity to stay home with my kids and to raise them and teach them...
It's still hard.
So, for me, as much as my family will always be #1, I need something in that #2 or #3 spot that's mine. Something that I am passionate about, something that get's me excited and makes me feel a little pleased with myself.
It will still be hard.
It will still get lonely.
But it will always be worth it.
Those things we find mundane--they mean something.
And they mean it to the people I love the most in the world.
Those precious little people make me so happy (even when they're driving me loco) and they are so very worth it.
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