Evicting feelings of guilt and entitlement

I had an epiphany this morning. A good one.

Let me tell you how it came about:

My son is on the swim team. He has to get up early every Saturday for swim meets. I haven’t slept past 5:47 a.m. in 17ish days. And I’m tired. But that’s okay, I’m also this lady called… Mom. It happens.

Anyway, I had my alarm set to get up at 5:30 this morning to help my boy get out the door, but my husband’s alarm went off ten minutes before mine. He got up and started getting our son ready, and I knew it was so that I wouldn’t have to.

Well, immediately I felt GUILT. That oh-so lovely feeling that likes to weigh you down and ruin your day.

In my desire to not feel the ugliness of guilt and stay in bed I replaced the guilt with entitlement. Why shouldn’t he get up? I get up early every single day and make lunches and get kids ready and take the dog out… yahta yahta… all that lame-o stuff.

But, and here’s where the epiphany came—I instantly knew I was wrong in my feelings. And I didn’t want that negativity inside me. Because I love that man. He also gets up early. He works his tail off every single day.

So, I made a choice to replace the guilt and entitlement with GRATITUDE.

And it made all the difference.

See, entitlement is not a feeling that brings peace because it does not stem from love. It comes from a self-serving attitude that never made anyone happy.

So, I stayed in bed. I didn’t get up. I didn’t make L’s lunch. I laid in bed, truthfully thinking about this post and feeling very very GRATEFUL that I am married to someone so loving and thoughtful. And then I thanked him. He served me and I felt very grateful for that service.

Service is love.

Gratitude is love.

And gratitude often creates service.

I want to keep this in my mind and my heart and remember to not consume my soul with guilt and to not darken my heart with entitlement, but to serve, to love, and to be GRATEFUL!