And sometimes we just cry

I wrote a blog post 6 months ago called:

WHEN YOUR CHILD DOESN'T SPEAK

Well, it's been six months.

And we've made very little strides. 

But we have made strides.

My Little Miss is now 3 1/2 years old. 

She has a few more signs. 

She seems to attempt more vocal speech--though it's not very often we understand. 

When we do though, it's jumping for joy time.

What we're doing:

*Little Miss is in school twice a week where she meets with a speech therapist once a week.

*We're learning more signs.

*When others speak to her, we wait and give her a chance to answer, before we answer for her.

*We play a lot--with little people, with barbies, with baby dolls--talking up a storm as we do so. I can't understand what she says, but she jabbers right along with me.

*We reiterate words, trying to help her to hear and try out the sounds.

*And sometimes we just cry.

It's hard. 

As a mother, I just want her to be happy and healthy.

And she is.

So, why is it so hard?

And the honest answer is: Yes, mostly I want happy and healthy. But I want less frustration too.

I want to hear her funny little thoughts and not always guess at what she wants or thinks.

I want to teach her and have her respond so that I know she understands--or doesn't.

I want to stop saying: Oh, she doesn't really speak yet.

But that's a lot of I's, which let's face it, is pretty selfish.

This morning she threw one of her frustrated tantrums because daddy wasn't playing how she wanted. But she couldn't explain how she wanted.

How frustrating for her, that these big people who are supposed to know what they're doing can't get it right all the time.

I don't always know what to do when one of those frustrated fits occurs. And then I get frustrated and impatient.

What I need to do--since I can't always be the perfect mother, is remind myself to be gentle, to be forgiving--and hope that she'll be forgiving of me and my short comings. 

And I know this, but maybe I need to remind myself in those hard moments that I am one blessed momma to have her, just the precious way she is.